Maury: You Are Not The Father!

Maury-Not Father

Maury-Not Father

Ah, the paternity tests!  Are you or are you not the baby's father? Are you 100% or 1000% sure he is the father? Did you sleep around with a laundry list of guys but are positive you know who your child's father is? Do you need to tell the "father" that he may not be your child's biological father? Is your former lover/husband/boyfriend denying that he is the father? Did you cheat and you're not sure if the father is your man or your lover? If this sounds like your situation, please call Maury at....

I'm sure you've seen it. It's one of the best trash t.v. shows ever---behind Jerry Springer of course. Of course you have. Even if it was just for a few minutes to see what all of the hoopla was about.

Some say it's disgraceful. Some say it's a shame. Some say it's a mockery of the American family, particularly the black family. Others aren't so quick to dismiss it.

Personally, I'm on the fence about it. While sometimes there is a positive result and the mother and father of the child are reunited, more often it is disgraceful and almost shameful to watch. It's especially painful and shameful when a woman appears on the show more than once, sometimes more than three, four, five, and six times without knowing the identity of their child's father. It's more humiliating when they fall out on the floor or run back stage (and fall out on the floor) after finding out negative results.

The entertainment in seeing a woman and man insult each other to no end and declare that an innocent, often beautiful child, is or is not their child is very much like a car accident. Horrifying and exciting to watch.

But, I continue to. Like all of the other Maury addicts, I too look at the features of the child (the ears and eyes and hairline and mouth) and try to determine if the child and father are a "match." I listen to each woman's story and try to determine if there really is a strong claim for paternity and if they were wronged by the alleged father. It's almost like a game to figure out if I am "right." I knew he wasn't the father, I say to myself after the results are read.

What's more interesting are the episodes where the father thinks he is the father and has acted responsibly and the mother has to share her deep dark secret that he may not be the child's father. As my mother would say: Where do these girls find these men? And how could they be so stupid?

Even more interesting is when the woman returns more than once to test more possible fathers. The Maury audience knows her by name. She's like a member of the family. Women such as Marisol, Chaka, Georgetta, Simone, and Telia (to name a few) come to mind. Many of these women have more than one child and often stop their search without ever finding their child's father. It's especially hard to watch these women, and even harder not to. You want them to have the "happy ending" Maury always speaks of, but you wonder if it really will be happy for them, even with a positive result.

Though I feel guilty, I continue to watch Maury faithfully. Particularly the shows on cheaters and paternity tests. Always looking forward to the day where Maury says: "You are the father!"